Em Am Y'all act like you never seen a white person before B7 Em Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door Em Am and started whoopin her ass worse than before B7 Em they were first divorced, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) Em Am It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, B7 Em he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" Em Am And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots! B7 Em Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) Em Am Feminist women love Eminem B7 chigga chigga chigga Em "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him, Em Am Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what B7 Em Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!" Em Am Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose B7 Em But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms Em Am B7 Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't Em but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose Em Am "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" B7 Em And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss Em Am And that's the message that we deliver to little kids B7 Em And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Em Am Of course they gonna know what intercourse is B7 By the time they hit fourth grade Em They got the Discovery Channel don't they? Em Am B7 "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals Em who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP] Em Am But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes B7 Em then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope Em Am [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote B7 Em Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat x2)]
Em Am 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady B7 Em All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating Em Am So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, B7 Em please stand up, please stand up?
Em Am Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; B7 Em well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! Em Am You think I give a damn about a Grammy? B7 Em Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me Em Am "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" B7 Em Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? Em Am So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? B7 Em Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs Em Am so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst B7 Em and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first Em Am You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV B7 Em "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" Em Am I should download her audio on MP3 B7 Em and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!] Em Am B7 I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me Em so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt] Em Am And there's a million of us just like me B7 Em who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me Em Am who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me B7 Em and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus]
Em Am I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you B7 Em things you joke about with your friends inside your living room Em Am The only difference is I got the balls to say it B7 Em in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all Em Am I just get on the mic and spit it B7 Em and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it Em Am better than ninety percent of you rappers out can B7 Em Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums Em Am It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty B7 Em I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting Em Am Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens B7 Em And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working Em Am And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin B7 Em He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings Em Am [*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling B7 Screaming "I don't give a fuck!" Em with his windows down and his system up Em Am So, will the real Shady please stand up? B7 Em And put one of those fingers on each hand up? Em Am And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control B7 Em and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus] (x4)
Ha ha Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's all stand up
[Intro - Full drums - plodding rhythm] | A | Amaj7 | Bm | Esus4 x x E - x Esus4 x x | x 2
[Verse - Drums stop - gentle vocals - plodding downstroke muted guitar] [A] I walked across [Amaj7] an empty land [Bm] I knew the pathway like the [Esus4] back of my [E] hand [Esus4] [A] I felt the earth [Amaj7] beneath my feet [Bm] Sat by the river and it [Esus4] made me comp [E] lete [Esus4]
[Pre-chorus] [F#m] Oh simple thing [C#m] where have you gone [D] I'm getting old and I need [D6-x00202] something to re [E] ly on [F#m] So tell me when [C#m] you're gonna let me in [D] I'm getting tired and I need [D6] somewhere to be [E] gin (drums in)
[Verse - muted plodding downstroke chords] [A] I came across [Amaj7] a fallen tree [Bm] I felt the branches of it [Esus4] looking at [E] me [Esus4] [A] Is this the place [Amaj7] we used to love? [Bm] Is this the place that I've been [Esus4] dreaming [E] of?
[Pre-chorus - open up chords] [F#m] Oh simple thing [C#m] where have you gone [D] I'm getting old and I need [D6] something to re [E] ly on [F#m] So tell me when [C#m] you're gonna let me in [D] I'm getting tired and I need [D6] somewhere to be [E] gin
[Chorus] [Bm] So if you have a [A/C#] minute why don't [E] we go [Bm] Talk about it [A/C#] somewhere only [E] we know [Bm] This could be the [A/C#] end of every [E] thing [D] So why don't we go [E] Somewhere only [A] we know? (drums stop) [D] .......... So [E] mewhere only we know [D] .... [E] (drum fill)
[Pre-chorus] [F#m] Oh simple thing [C#m] where have you gone? [D] I'm getting old and I need [D6] something to re [E] ly on [F#m] So tell me when [C#m] you're gonna let me in [D] I'm getting tired and I need [D6] somewhere to be [E] gin
[Chorus] [Bm] And if you have a [A/C#] minute why don't [E] we go [Bm] Talk about it [A/C#] somewhere only [E] we know? [Bm] This could be the [A/C#] end of every [E] thing [D] So why don't [D]we go [D] so why don't [E]we go
[Chorus] [Bm] ........ This could be the [A/C#] end of every [E] thing [D] So why don't we go [E] Somewhere only [A] we know [D] (drums stop - slow vocals to end) [E] Somewhere only we know [D] [E] Somewhere only [D] we know
