Eminem-Real Slim Shady
[Verse 1]Em Am
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
B7 Em
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Em Am
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
B7 Em
they were first divorced, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
Em Am
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
B7 Em
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
Em Am
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
B7 Em
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Em Am
Feminist women love Eminem
B7
chigga chigga chigga
Em
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
Em Am
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
B7 Em
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Em Am
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
B7 Em
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Em Am B7
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
Em
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
Em Am
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
B7 Em
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
Em Am
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
B7 Em
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Em Am
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
B7
By the time they hit fourth grade
Em
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
Em Am B7
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
Em
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
Em Am
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
B7 Em
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
Em Am
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
B7 Em
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat x2)]
Em Am
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
B7 Em
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
Em Am
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
B7 Em
please stand up, please stand up?
Em Am
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
B7 Em
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
Em Am
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
B7 Em
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
Em Am
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
B7 Em
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
Em Am
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
B7 Em
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
Em Am
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
B7 Em
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Em Am
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
B7 Em
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
Em Am
I should download her audio on MP3
B7 Em
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
Em Am B7
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
Em
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
Em Am
And there's a million of us just like me
B7 Em
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Em Am
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
B7 Em
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus]
Em Am
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
B7 Em
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
Em Am
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
B7 Em
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
Em Am
I just get on the mic and spit it
B7 Em
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
Em Am
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
B7 Em
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Em Am
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
B7 Em
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Em Am
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
B7 Em
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
Em Am
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
B7 Em
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
Em Am
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
B7
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
Em
with his windows down and his system up
Em Am
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
B7 Em
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
Em Am
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
B7 Em
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus] (x4)
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up